My decision to have an exchange blog wasn't so I could just put my thoughts out into the world. I didn't even do it so my family or friends would have some way of knowing what I'm doing. That definitely became part of it but still, having a blog was because my decision to go on an exchange was helped along by all the exchange blogs I read. Blogs from past exchangers became the closest way I could see the feelings and activities that occur during exchange. And my favorite blogs were the ones that were truthful. The exchangers wouldn't just blog about the parties, and how they got to ride an elephant and the amazing food and people and so on. They would say when they were having hard times or difficult feelings. And that's what I want this blog to be. A way for people get as close as they can to my exchange. And the very real things that I'll be going through. Yet I still am not going to be an extremely angsty or angry or mopey blogger. Some things the internet world doesn't need to know :).
So I'm going to tell you that with um 16 more days left I'm as nervous as who knows what. During the day I'm cool. I'm all, Yea 15 more days no big deal. I have to start packing, no problem. My last meal. It's fine. But somehow when it's 1 am in the morning and you're just lying in the dark it all seems like so much. Because I honestly have no idea what to expect. People can say whatever. They can tell me how Indonesia was for them but actually being there will be something totally different. No matter what I'll still be stepping into a totally foreign country. And as much as I'll have people backing me up and supporting me it'll still be me who has to adjust and make a life in Indonesia. Relying on myself.
And that's why I'll think I'll be ok because I'm going to work hard to make it ok, to make it amazing.